I was thinking recently about the kind of advice I would give another mom who was trying to grow something.
Maybe she’s starting a blog like I did.
Maybe she’s building a small business.
Maybe she’s working toward a dream that feels important but is growing slower than she hoped.
I know exactly what I would tell her.
- Be patient.
- Keep showing up.
- Don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle.
- Focus on helping people instead of chasing numbers.
- Small steps still move you forward.
Those words would come easily.
But then a quiet thought crept into my mind.
Why is it so easy to say those things to someone else… But, so hard to believe them when they apply to me?
And that’s when it hit me.
Sometimes the advice we give others is actually wisdom God is trying to hand back to us.
Don’t Compare Your Beginning to Someone Else’s Middle
If another mom told me she was discouraged because someone else seemed to be further ahead than she was, I would remind her that comparison is a dangerous game.
Someone else might have a larger audience.
A bigger circle.
A personality that thrives in the spotlight.
Not all of us are wired that way.
For example, I once tried doing craft shows with ribbon pops (customized keychains made of ribbon). On paper, it seemed like a great idea. In reality? It was exhausting.
Standing at a booth talking to strangers all day might be energizing for an extrovert. For an introvert like me, it felt like running a marathon.
That experience reminded me that not every path works for every personality.
And honestly, that realization is part of why the oak tree metaphor resonates so deeply with me when I think about Mom Leaves A Legacy.
Oak trees grow slowly.
For years, most of their growth happens underground, where no one can see it. Roots spread wide and deep before the tree ever begins to tower above the ground.
Sometimes building something meaningful feels like that.
Quiet work. Slow growth. Deep roots.
When I start feeling discouraged about progress, I have to remind myself to be an oak tree.
And maybe that metaphor applies to more than just a blog.
Maybe it applies to motherhood.
Maybe it applies to faith.
Maybe it applies to the quiet work God is doing in our lives that we can’t always see yet.
The Advice Sounds Simple…Until You’re Living It
Take financial advice for example.
One of the most common tips you’ll hear is simple: “Eating at home saves money.”
And it’s true. But that advice sounds very different when you’re living real life.
Between sports schedules, church activities, and everyday responsibilities, our weeks can get chaotic. In our house, the fall season is especially wild.
Volleyball practices and games.
Cheer multiple times a week.
Church on Wednesdays.
And my husband and I are running the concession stand events several nights a week — sometimes every night.
During those months, life feels like a blur from August through mid-November.
Some nights, the kids are home eating microwaved meals while we’re working concessions. Other nights, they’re getting leftover hot dogs and pretzels when we come home at the end of the shift.
By the end of the season, I’m pretty sure my blood type is soft pretzel.
And then there’s the reality of cooking for a family.
In our house, three out of five people eat like toddlers. And before anyone starts judging my kids… I should probably admit that I’m one of the three who eats like a toddler.
Trying to meal plan for a family where half the household refuses to eat anything other than chicken, pizza, and mac and cheese is exhausting.
Sometimes it means cooking two different meals.
Sometimes it means microwaved nuggets for some and a “real” dinner for others.
Sometimes it means giving up on the idea of the perfect family meal altogether.
Advice always sounds simple when it’s theoretical. It feels very different when you’re living it on a Tuesday night with zero energy left.
Focus on Serving People, Not Chasing Numbers
If another mom told me she was discouraged because something she was building wasn’t growing as quickly as she hoped, I know what I would say.
I would tell her to focus on serving people. To remember that impact matters more than numbers. To trust that meaningful work often grows slowly. I would remind her that touching one person’s life in a meaningful way is far more valuable than reaching hundreds who simply skim past.
And maybe I need to listen to my own words.
Sometimes when I look at the page views on this blog, it’s easy to wonder if what I’m writing is making any difference at all.
But then I remember why I started this in the first place.
If even one mom reads a post and feels encouraged, understood, or less alone in her struggles, then the work mattered.
That’s the goal.
Not going viral.
Not chasing numbers.
Just helping people.
Why Is It So Hard to Take Our Own Advice?
So why is it that we can offer advice to others so easily, but struggle to apply that same advice to our own lives?
Part of it is emotional distance.
When someone else shares their struggle with us, we can see the situation clearly. We’re not tangled up in the emotions the way they are.
But when it’s our own life, our emotions cloud the view.
Another reason is that we tend to extend grace to others far more easily than we extend it to ourselves.
I would never look another mom in the eye and tell her she’s failing.
But sometimes I say things to myself that I would never say to someone else.
Waiting also plays a role. Waiting is uncomfortable. Especially if you’re someone who likes control.
I’ve realized that I struggle with this more than I’d like to admit. I don’t like uncertainty. I don’t like surprises. I like knowing what’s coming next.
I even pick out and order my own Christmas presents from my kids most years.
Not because I don’t appreciate the thought, but because I hate the idea of them spending money on something I won’t use. It’s easier to choose something I know I’ll love and actually need.
Control feels safe.
But life doesn’t always work that way.
Letting Go of Control
And this is where faith enters the conversation.
Trusting God sounds simple when we say the words out loud.
But actually letting go of control is much harder.
It’s much easier to tell someone else to trust God than it is to release control myself.
I think this is one of the hardest lessons for people like me to learn.
Faith often asks us to trust God with things we cannot predict, cannot control, and cannot fully understand yet.
That kind of trust takes practice.
I’ve been saved for 10 years, and I still struggle with letting go of control and just letting God do his thing on a daily basis.
The Enemy Loves This Gap
The space between knowing what’s wise and actually living it out can become fertile ground for shame.
The enemy loves to step into that gap and whisper lies.
You’re failing.
You’re not doing enough.
You’re not good enough.
But that gap can also produce something else.
Humility.
Compassion.
Empathy for others who are struggling too.
In my From the Trenches series, I once wrote that the enemy may win a round now and then, but he doesn’t win the war when God is on our side.
And that truth still stands.
The Truth About Advice
Maybe the advice we give others isn’t hypocrisy. Maybe it’s wisdom we’re still learning to live.
Maybe the encouragement we offer someone else is also the reminder our own hearts need to hear again.
Sometimes the advice we give others is actually wisdom God is trying to hand back to us.
Reflection Question
What advice do you often give others that you struggle to follow yourself?
Closing Prayer
Lord, sometimes it’s easier for us to see wisdom clearly in someone else’s life than it is to live that same wisdom in our own. You know the places where we struggle to follow the very advice we freely give. Help us release the shame that tries to grow in that space. Replace it with grace, patience, and humility. Teach us to trust You with the parts of life we cannot control. When waiting feels uncomfortable and uncertainty makes us anxious, remind us that You are already holding the future. Help us to live the truth we know in our hearts. Give us courage to keep showing up, to keep serving others, and to trust that the quiet work we are doing matters. And when we forget these things, gently remind us again. In Jesus’ name, amen.
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