Finding Presence in the Chaos: A Mom’s Guide to Showing Up When Life Feels Overwhelming

I haven’t cooked a real home-cooked meal since August.

Well, unless you count boxed mac and cheese. Which, let’s be honest, some days that does count.

As I sit here in Panera writing this, my daughter Joss is at volleyball practice. Our fall sports season has transitioned into travel volleyball, and our family rhythm has shifted once again. The calendar is full, the to-do list is long, and the holiday season is barreling toward us like a freight train I’m not sure I’m ready to board.

Maybe you can relate.

Maybe you’re also feeling the weight of trying to be present when life feels like it’s moving at warp speed. Maybe you’re navigating job changes, tight finances, endless practices and games, holiday expectations, and the nagging voice in your head that whispers, “You’re not doing enough. You’re not enough.”

If that’s you, mama, I see you. And I want you to know something important: You don’t have to be perfect to be present.

The Perfection Trap

I’ll be honest with you—I struggle with perfectionism. I believe in perfection, and when I don’t obtain it, I crash. My husband Matt calls it “spiraling downhill,” and he’s not wrong.

I know Jesus is the only perfect person who ever walked this earth. I know we’re called to strive to be like Him, not to achieve flawless performance. But my brain has a hard time wrapping around the idea of striving for perfection while knowing I’ll never achieve it.

Can you relate to that tension?

The Apostle Paul understood this struggle. In Philippians 3:12, he writes:

“Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own.” (ESV)

Paul—the great apostle, the church planter, the man who wrote much of the New Testament—openly admitted he hadn’t “arrived.” He was still pressing on. Still striving. Still growing.

And yet, he was already made Christ’s own.

That’s the key, mama. We press on because we are already loved, already claimed, already enough in Christ. Not to earn His approval, but because we already have it.

The Holiday Season Layer

Now add the holiday season into the mix.

The pressure to create magical moments. The gift lists when finances are already tight. The expectations—from family, from church, from ourselves—to show up, host well, bake cookies, decorate beautifully, and somehow maintain our sanity.

For my family, we’re navigating job changes and financial insecurity right now. Gift buying feels heavy when the budget is stretched thin. And I know I’m not alone in that.

Maybe you’re feeling it too. The tension between wanting to give your kids a beautiful Christmas and the reality of what your bank account can handle. The guilt of saying “no” to yet another commitment. The exhaustion of trying to be everywhere and do everything.

Here’s what I’m learning: Jesus didn’t come into a perfect, put-together world. He came into the mess.

He was born in a stable. His parents were young, poor, and far from home. There were no Pinterest-perfect nativity scenes or color-coordinated Christmas pajamas.

And yet, it was exactly what God intended. The mess was part of the plan.

Your mess—the chaos, the overwhelm, the imperfect moments—they don’t disqualify you from being a good mom. They’re simply the backdrop for God’s grace to shine through.

What Presence Really Looks Like

I used to think being present meant having it all together. A clean house, home-cooked meals, quality time scheduled on the calendar, and a calm, patient demeanor at all times.

But that’s not reality. And honestly, that’s not what our kids need most.

What they need is us. Imperfect, tired, doing-our-best us.

My son Jonathan prays before bed every night. He typically prays to sleep through the night and not have to get up to pee a bunch (yes, really). But he refuses to go to bed without praying. If his dad Matt isn’t there, I’m a decent substitute—but he definitely prefers Dad.

And you know what? That’s a beautiful thing.

It’s not a perfectly scripted devotional time. It’s not an Instagram-worthy moment. But it’s real. It’s consistent. It’s a small, sacred rhythm that’s building a legacy of faith in our home.

That’s presence.

Presence isn’t perfection. It’s showing up. It’s the car conversations on the way to practice. It’s the quick hug before you rush out the door. It’s letting them see you pray when you’re stressed. It’s admitting when you’ve messed up and asking for forgiveness.

Colossians 3:23-24 reminds us:

“Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.” (ESV)

We’re not serving the impossible standard of perfection. We’re serving the Lord—who sees our hearts, knows our limitations, and meets us in our weakness.

Practical Ways to Show Up When You’re Stretched Thin

So how do we actually do this? How do we find presence in the chaos without adding more pressure to our already-full plates?

Here are a few things I’m learning:

1. Let Go of One Thing

What’s one expectation you can release this season? For me, it’s the idea that I have to cook elaborate meals every night. Boxed mac and cheese, rotisserie chicken, and simple meals are enough. What can you give yourself permission to let go of?

2. Capture the Small Moments

You don’t need a full day at the pumpkin patch to build memories. The bedtime prayers, the silly jokes in the car, the shared snack at Panera—those count. Those matter.

3. Be Honest About Your Limits

It’s okay to say, “I can’t host this year.” It’s okay to set a budget and stick to it, even if it means fewer gifts. It’s okay to admit you’re tired. Honesty is a gift to yourself and your family.

4. Anchor in Scripture

When the spiral starts, come back to truth. Write a verse on a sticky note and put it where you’ll see it. Let God’s Word remind you who you are and Whose you are.

5. Give Yourself Grace

If Paul wasn’t perfect, why do we expect ourselves to be? Extend yourself the same grace you’d give a friend. You’re doing better than you think.

The Legacy You’re Already Building

Here’s the truth, mama: The legacy you’re building isn’t found in perfection. It’s found in faithfulness.

Your kids won’t remember if the house was spotless or if dinner was gourmet. They’ll remember that you showed up. That you loved them. That you pointed them to Jesus, even in the mess.

Deuteronomy 6:6-7 says:

“And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” (ESV)

Notice it doesn’t say, “Teach them when everything is perfect.” It says teach them in the everyday moments—sitting, walking, lying down, rising. In the chaos. In the ordinary. In the real.

That’s where legacy is built.

Reflection Questions

• What expectation of perfection is weighing you down right now? What would it feel like to release it?
• Where have you seen God’s grace show up in the small, imperfect moments of your motherhood journey?
• What’s one way you can be more present with your family this week, even in the midst of chaos?

A Prayer for the Overwhelmed Mama

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank You for seeing me in the chaos. Thank You for knowing my heart, my struggles, and my desire to show up well for my family. Lord, I confess that I often try to carry the weight of perfection on my own shoulders—a weight You never asked me to bear.

Help me to release the impossible standards and embrace Your grace. Remind me that I am already enough in Christ, and that my worth isn’t found in my performance but in Your love.

Give me eyes to see the small, sacred moments. Help me to be present—not perfect. Teach me to build a legacy of faithfulness, not flawlessness.

When I spiral, anchor me in Your truth. When I’m stretched thin, remind me that You are my strength. And when I feel like I’m failing, whisper to my heart that You see every effort, every prayer, every moment I choose love over perfection.

Thank You for the gift of motherhood. Thank You for my children. Help me to steward this ministry well, not in my own strength, but in Yours.

In Jesus’ name,Amen.

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You’re doing better than you think, mama. Keep showing up. Keep pressing on. The legacy you’re building matters more than you know.